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DigiCOMmentary V. 2.1
Outsourcing Outrage --- Information Please “Please wait just a minute while I access your information,” the costumer service agent with the American name but very Indian accent told me as I was fretting a way on the phone. “I lost my ATM card, and I can't get into my online banking,” I anxiously told him. “What is the number of the card you lost?” “I lost the card, I don’t know the number,” I replied. “May I please put you on hold?” without waiting for an answer, I was placed in silence. After rummaging through stacks of bank statements, I found my account number. He asked for name address, and mother’s maiden name, and then put me on hold again. His manners were impeccable but he didn’t understand what I was talking about. Talking to the agent was more frustrating than the prospect of someone taking money out of ATMs with my card. Outrageous outsourcing was driving me out of my mind. Finally after a half an hour, he told me to destroy the ATM card and that a new card would be sent to me. It didn’t solve my problem because it would be week before I got the card and was able to access my account. I missed paying one bill online. We’ll Help You Fix Your New Computer Even if You Have to Work OVERTime My next experience with outsourced agent is when I got a new computer. I attached an old mouse, installed its software and then everything froze up. Holy not thinking straight Batman, I’ve worked with computers for 15 years and I should have known better but I stayed on the line with him for nearly two hours. We turned on and off the computer a lot and he read oh so politely from a script. If I asked a question outside of the script, he couldn’t answer, he had a pre-programmed answer like. “Don’t worry; I will be able to help you with the matter.” I must have been on the phone for two hours when he had me reformat my hard drive, and reinstall every program that came with computer. Shortly thereafter, I realized that Windows XP has a function that returns the computer to original settings which probably would have taken a few minutes. Multiple Outsourced Wrong Answers Recently, while attempting to help my friend who bought a new computer and was having problems with links in e-mail messages not launching Internet Explorer. I tried a few methods of technical support, the Internet Service Provider online chat, took ten minutes with a lot of waiting in between. The instructions from an agent with polite words and non-American spelling, wrote that had to change from file launch execution files in the folders options of the control panel. It did not work. Then I tried their out-of-this world service agent, well, if I wasn’t so angry it would have been funny, “Hello my name is Tom, may I know what the problem is?” he asked I went into details and I could tell he didn’t understand what I was asking. “How long have you been experiencing it?" he asked. “Since, I installed your software.” “Thank your for that information. Please wait, while I pull up your information.” “Are you having any problem sending or receiving e-mail?--- Well it went on and on and on and on and on and on. I went over and over and over the situation, we were going a Three-Stoogeseque circle. “Have I answered your questions satisfactorily?” “No.” “Would you please connect with someone who understand me and can help?” I asked. He had no answer. He probably didn’t even understand why I hung up. Total time wasted, thirty-two minutes. Eventually, after trying several different Web searches, I found a link to the Microsoft Web site, that I believe corrected the problem. However, when I searched Microsoft Outlook Express help I couldn’t find me. One of my fellow Americans had found the answer and kindly put up a link to help us disenfranchised who are orphaned from real technical support! Give Please a Chance (Again) Before writing this, I figured I give the computer company a second chance to see if they improved. Like a teenager who calls the neighbors, with those stupid lines, “Is your refrigerator running? Giggle--- It’s running down the block! So I plan this have typical problem I’ve had, that I’ve seen happen in classes and to friends all the time. So, I call the computer company 800 number, but I don’t have the service code. It’s on the back of the computer, I have to take the label off redial and put it in the code. A lovely warm, Mother Earth/Eartha Kit American voice says, “You may experience long holding times of ten minutes or more…music…music… Most times your problem may be fixed by shutting off and restarting your computer or by returning Windows to it original settings… Twenty minutes later: “Hello, my name is Irene. May please have your service number?” she sounded so pleasant, but the accent definitely wasn’t like my mother’s. “Hello, Irene, I already put the service number into the phone bank when I called, don’t you have it? “May I please have your service number?” Frustrated, I said it really fast. “I really apologize, that is too fast for me. Would you please repeat that?” So I said it r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w-l-y. “What is the problem with your computer?’ “I dropped my mouse and it doesn’t work.” “How long has this been happening for?” “Since, I dropped it!” “I really apologize, you have the wrong department. You must be processed by company 12. I really apologize we are divided into company categories and your desktop must be in company 12. Allow me give you the right number call 800----“ “That is the number I called, please connect with the right department” Fifteen minutes later: “Hello this is Joseph; may I have your service number please? The new guy sounded a bit more American and he found my situation humorous. After getting a “D” instead of “V”, in my service number we were rolling. “I dropped my mouse and it doesn’t work.” He laughed, (was it planned/ acted or rehearsed I wasn’t sure.) “Please hold, Mam, while I pull up a few details.” I hear key clicking and it sounds like he’s reading something on the screen. “Thanks for being on hold, Mam. Do you have a working mouse you can switch with the mouse?” I held back, “If I had another working mouse, I wouldn’t call you,” and said a clear “No.” “Please give me a moment, Mam.” He instructs me to shut off the computer switch the keyboard and the mouse on the back of the computer. No change. He asks if there is pointer on the screen. I keep waiting for the question that works to correct the problem I’ve seen students repair in three seconds. “Is there any visible damage, Mam?” “Not that I can tell.” “Thanks for the information, Mam.” He then tells me that the company will send me a replacement. I should it get in few days. Now I’m holding the laughs. “Shouldn’t I try to clean it or something?” I asked. “Mam, no, mice break very easily, no problem you will receive a new one in few days. You could buy a new mouse for less than ten dollars.” He’s really smug now he even knows how much a mouse costs. “Do I really need a new mouse? Shouldn’t I take it APART or something?” “Yes, Mam, I understand.” I hear clicking on reading, “Is there a red line or black and white lines?” he asked. “What line?” Okay, so I egg him on a little. He was calling me Mam--- where I grew up old ladies with pastel hair and funny glasses with lines were called Mam. I tell him it looks kind of dirty the roller-things are sticky. “How big is the opening?” “A little smaller than a ping pong ball.” Finally he realizes that like most Americans I dropped my mouse and the ball bounced under the desk lost for ever. “Please try to find the ball, Mam, it may be dangerous to small children.” “You mean kids take these things apart and choke?’ Time to reprocess, click click, think think, silence, “If the ball becomes damaged the mouse will not work properly.” Total time wasted on this call forty-three minutes. Then he did what he was trained to do and said, “Bye-bye.” ISP Ain’t to Blame I gave the computer company a second chance so I decided to give the ISP and bank the same courtesy. The ISP was answered by smarty-pants the next time, he blamed the problem, on Spam-blocking software, Firewalls, told me to uninstall then reinstall the ISP software with different settings, suggested I call Microsoft and so many other options. He even said the ISP that had supported Outlook Express for over ten years no longer supported it. No matter what I said, there was no solution. This time it only took twenty-five minutes. Two Minutes of Bliss Now the happy ending… I called my bank, and hear a deep American voice with a warm Mid-Western smiling twang. “I think I lost my ATM card, what should I do?” I fretted. “I can block the number now, and then you can go to your local branch tomorrow across from city hall,” he says with knowledge and kindness. Wow a real solution, I asked him why before when I called the OTHER guy, there was no mention of getting a new ATM card at the branch.’ “You had random bad luck getting the OVERseas costumer service. 90% of our complaints are about the OVERseas call center. Customers say they don’t understand the difference between a city and a state. They don’t provide as high a level of costumer service," my costumer service friend told me. Hallelujah, I ‘m not the only one. Although I never heard a single polite word, I felt a fellow soul who understood my ATM turmoil. He told me if I didn’t find the card it was better to be safe and report it. The call ended with, him saying, “We appreciate your feedback. You have a good day!’ The call took two minutes tops. Total time wasted with my American service agent---- nada, zilch, zip, zero. Say, the American gets $10.00 an hour while the OVERseas’ agents get a dollar an hour. The American did his job in two minutes. While the outsourced people wasted, I mean took a total of 262 minutes (without holding time). How much money did the companies actually save? Who’s really keeping score? #### | |
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Lynn Walford is technology/consumer electronics writer with over 13 years experience, who has written for Dig-iT, Investor’s Business Daily, The Los Angeles Times, Success and Business Start-Ups. She used to enjoy calling technical support and longs for the WordPerfect days when they held your hand over the phone and actually helped you solve the problem. For Discussion: What kinds of outsourced horror experiences have you had? What funny catch phrases have you noticed? What if anything can a consumer do? Home | Lynn Walford Home | Download Brochure |Contact/Links |Articles Available © 2004, 2005 Lynn Walford, All rights reserved, unless you buy them from me. |
